Friday, September 2, 2016
White Picket Fence - NOPE
WHITE PICKET FENCE
to this posting, this article of thought. For me to
begin with back in my day. However, the reality is that when I was a young child the media was not as harsh as they are now. TV programs portrayed the “ideal” life as being in a two parent home living in suburbia. Dad went to work, mom stayed home sent the children off to school with a home-prepared lunch. She vacuumed the house while wearing a dress, heel, and pearls. By the way did I also mention the families were of Caucasian heritage? They had a house with a white picket fence and lived in a lovely quiet neighborhood.
We were read stories of charming men who would come and sweep you off your feet and take care of you for the rest of your life, “happily ever after”. Yes, little girl this will be your life. I bought what they were selling, yes the entire package. Problem, I was not white, wasn’t going to be white, couldn’t turn white. Nope wasn’t going to happen. It was embedded in me thought that would be my life.
Finally, the media presented the Evans family, a family happy but struggling. So little black girl identify with them. Nope, I wanted the other package. Then came the Jefferson, and the Huxtable families living a good life…hmmm momma Huxtable worked? O.k. still a good life, I still wanted the first package though, but now with a bit of the Huxtables thrown into the mix.
Would this be my reality, no. My journey to the white picket fence would first take me to an abusive marriage, which took a miracle from God to get me out. Had to return that package definitely wasn’t what was advertised. Then my journey took me to a place so close to the original package (short of being white) I was spitting rainbows. Two beautiful children. I was blessed to be able to stay home with them until the youngest was four. I made lunch, I even peeled and cut up grapes so my babies would not choke. No white picket fence around the house, but it was good. Then reality showed up and WOW!
The children grew up, and it was about to be just me and him, that’s right just him and me. We use to laugh and have fun, I remember that part. But, what was it we would do. No more children’s schedules, just me and him yeah that part him and me. We couldn’t remember that part. Could not get back to that part……
So here I am as I have been for the last seven years, of which a few of those years my mantra was “this is not where I am supposed to be in my life now”.
Single, where is my freakin’ package? Along, the way through therapy and a great deal of self-reflection reality has done a number on me. A preacher I greatly admire recently said, “we are feeding each other a lot of junk food theory” (a bit paraphrased). We are sugar coating a great deal of information, valuable information which has been changed to suit the needs of some. In my opinion this sugar coating has hurt and is hurting all.