WHITE PICKET FENCE
NOPE!
to this posting, this article of thought. For me to
begin with back in my day. However, the reality is
that when I was a young child the media was not as harsh as they are now. TV
programs portrayed the “ideal” life as being in a two parent home living in
suburbia. Dad went to work, mom stayed home sent the children off to school
with a home-prepared lunch. She vacuumed the house while wearing a dress, heel,
and pearls. By the way did I also mention the families were of Caucasian
heritage? They had a house with a white picket fence and lived in a lovely
quiet neighborhood.
We
were read stories of charming men who would come and sweep you off your feet
and take care of you for the rest of your life, “happily
ever after”. Yes, little girl this will be your life.
I bought what they were selling, yes the entire package. Problem, I was not
white, wasn’t going to be white, couldn’t turn white. Nope wasn’t going to
happen. It was embedded in me thought that would be my life.
Finally,
the media presented the Evans family, a family happy but struggling. So little
black girl identify with them. Nope, I wanted the other package. Then came the
Jefferson, and the Huxtable families living a good life…hmmm momma Huxtable
worked? O.k. still a good life, I still wanted the first package though, but
now with a bit of the Huxtables thrown into the mix.
Would
this be my reality,
no. My journey to the white picket fence would
first take me to an abusive marriage, which took a miracle from God to get me out. Had to
return that package definitely wasn’t what was advertised. Then my journey took
me to a place so close to the original package (short of being white) I was
spitting rainbows. Two beautiful children. I was blessed to be able to stay
home with them until the youngest was four. I made lunch, I even peeled and cut
up grapes so my babies would not choke. No white
picket fence around the house, but it was good. Then reality showed up and WOW!
The children grew up, and it was about to be just me and him, that’s right
just him and me. We use to laugh and have fun, I remember that part. But, what
was it we would do. No more children’s schedules, just me and him yeah that part
him
and me. We couldn’t remember that part. Could not get back to that part……
So
here I am as I have been for the last seven years, of which a few of those
years my mantra was “this is not where
I am supposed to be in my life now”.
Single, where
is my freakin’ package? Along, the way through therapy and a great deal of
self-reflection reality
has done a number on me. A preacher I greatly admire recently said, “we are feeding each other a lot of junk food theory” (a bit paraphrased). We are sugar coating
a
great deal of information, valuable information which has been changed to suit
the needs of some. In my opinion this sugar coating has hurt and is hurting
all.
No comments:
Post a Comment