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Friday, September 2, 2016


White Picket Fence- Nope (Part 2)

            Even looking at my back in the day TV shows they did not show the entire reality. That man/woman relationship at the true raw level. My sisters, my sisters of color are now being taught, you can do anything a man can do. You can be the man of the house. So with all of our strength and attitude some of us have gotten it twisted. Yes, you may be able to perform many of the tasks a man can, but, how about you being the woman and letting the man be the man.

            No longer looking for that white picket fence. I can vacuum my house in jeans and tennis shoes, thank you. But, I am striving to create that happily ever after. I am working towards a relationship where the man is being the man, and me being able to be the woman. Believe me this is a great deal more fun. Me being the man and trying to hold onto my feminism was too much. Now, do not get me wrong this does not mean “in the kitchen, bare-foot, cooking, cleaning, and fetching” what it does mean is balance.

            Our relationship comes second only to God who is first in both of our lives. I realize this package comes with goals to continue to strive towards:

1.      Connection: We pray together. This is the greatest connection coming together first on a spiritual level places God in the center of both of us.

2.      Communication: If the two of you cannot talk about everything now, it will be a struggle. I say do not tell me if you do not want him to know and it is true visa versa. (Oh my the things I know) lol.

3.      Agreement: We agree we can disagree. And if one of us is upset we both speak our part the situation is discussed until both are satisfied that there is nothing more to say on the subject then we let it go. No holding onto ill feelings and bringing it up later.

4.      Moments: We have dedicated moments together. Sorry to the family, sorry to friends our time together is valuable and set! “Oh, sorry I have somewhere to be that day.”

5.      Passion: That connection that gives me the feeling of knowing when he walks into a room. The way he lights up when he sees me or hears my voice. The way we both light up when we talk about each other, or someone talks about us.

6.      Laughter: I am talking about that from the belly, your very gut kind of funny. We find it to be great exercise.

Balance in that me/ him relationship, takes a lot of work and attention. This is not to be taken lightly, nope can’t and shouldn’t let outsiders put their two cents in, the two of you must work together for this relationship to work. 4 times the bible speaks of this very thought: Genesis2:24, Matthew19:5, Mark10:7, and Ephesians5:31. Cherish each other, respect, acknowledge, and communicate. So kick the “white picket fence” to the curb. But strive towards the reality of the “happily ever after”.

Be Blessed!

T.

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